Saturday, 31 July 2010

#1. Running to… Running From… Same Difference?

I glanced at the digital time display on my Blackberry one more time and could hardly believe it was 3.00pm. I had no idea where my day had gone or was going.

Aaaarghhh! The newest addition to my vocabulary, only difference was I wasn’t speaking it this time, I was feeling it. Glancing covetously at the rays of sunlight soaking the green, green lawn on the other side of my window, or my mom’s windows until I moved in a few weeks, I felt my stomach cringe… again. A rude reminder as to why I had missed my business class this morning, why I wasn’t at Kiki’s house just yet for the party (she’d only constantly gone on about it for the last two weeks. I’d had it all planned out; business class till noon and then straight to Kiki’s) Damn! I was still vegged out on my mom’s couch in pain. Yup! aaarrggghhhh! Is exactly how I felt.
I had absolutely disregarded the CBS Drama reruns of Dynasty and given my very precious time to Lindsey Kelk as I purred through the pages of her book; ‘I heart NewYork’. I hear you say we all got it free in our August ‘Glamour’… agreed! But I personally heart ‘I heart NewYork’ and I considered ‘Angela Clark’ as a Pseudonym two seconds ago:) bite me!

I didn’t have the slightest idea why my stomach had decided to betray me and then ruin my plans for the day, all I knew was that it was succeeding, insane growling in tow. I finally decided living horizontally and in an almost near vegetative state for a day might actually do my overworked self some good. It was my consolation.

My thoughts slowly cascaded through Friday, as I did a mental check on what I had eaten, I needed to blame something or someone, was it the gorgeous mix of muesli, Greek yogurt and fruit I’d had for breakfast or the very rare beef burger I’d had at the Union for Lunch or the handful of chili’s I’d piped into dinner… Hang on! The union, the burger was so rare it had virtually mooed at me. Aaarrrggghhh! My stomach cramped up slightly tighter. I decided to rest my ‘Nancy Drew’ hat and gloves, silently resolving to pray the pain away. I let my mind wander further; the last few weeks brought a cheeky smile to my lips accompanied with a feeling of utter control. A bad break up and a failed attempt to move back to Africa, my roots, had seen me safely back to London. I’d only just lived here the last 10 years.

The daily commute to the city, the breath taking colosseumic entrance to the British museum, the intoxicating sniffle from hot dog hawkers on crowded streets, the iconic representation of Harrods and Selfridges, the humid, windy summers, the almost intimidating Gherkin as it reared its most beautiful head through the city, fabulous restaurants and amazing pubs; the waterway, 55, Claridges, Hakkassan, Umu… but even more fabulously the freedom and liberty to be open and to be me.
I smiled, London made me smile and then I realized, I was doing exactly what Lindsey’s main character was doing; learning me, finding me as I rediscovered the city I had come to love so much over the last decade. Geographically we were 7,000 miles apart, she NewYork and I, London…
Am I running from or running to? I carefully brushed the tedious question away… my answer was simple enough!
I’m not bothered and its absolutely amazing… Damn! I’d turned down a hen night, a friend had invited me to tonight… aaarrrghhh! Pain again!


Lara said...

I love the way you put the words together...welcome to blogsville

inStilettos said...

Aww! Thanks Lara!